Everyone says Sober is Better, but how…?

I work with people who are in the transition between drinking life and sober life to help them learn coping skills, develop self-esteem, and build a sober lifestyle where alcohol can no longer be a default.

Hangover free mornings are great and all, but you know what's better?

Being able to look at yourself in the mirror without feeling shame.

Being able to feel gratitude for your life.

Being able to feel peace.

I do not have any openings right now. Please add your name to the waitlist to have access to open slots as they become available (expected: early February)

Life-changing; Your sense of humor, authenticity, insightful questions, and perspective were essential to helping see things in a different light. My experience meeting you one-on-one even exceeded my expectations. One of the best investments I have made for myself.

I felt safe confronting this with you, which is not something I had ever felt or trusted with anyone before. I was able to process this triggering event in a way I wouldn't have been able to do on my own.”

Who I Work With

When we first quit drinking, there is a decrease in quality of life, happiness, self-esteem, and recovery capital (the internal and external resources we can use stay stay sober) and an increase in psychological distress.

If you look at this graph, there is an initial bump of momentum around 4 months, and then this trend continues until ~9 months sober and then things begin to improve long term.

I work with people in both categories: getting the initial momentum (0-4 months) and getting through the lowest point (6-10 months).

In my experience, the most common danger points where someone returns to drinking are at 3-4 months and at 6-8 months (depending on the person).

Please note: not everyone stays sober right away either, so this gives us time to figure it out together.

Phase 1: Initial Momentum

Building your initial momentum requires getting past some hurdles:

  • figuring out what to do with your free time

  • learning to identify and cope with your emotions in healthy ways

  • adjusting your lifestyle so it’s less chaotic and more supportive

  • socializing and getting comfortable being a non-drinker

  • dealing with cravings and weird thoughts

  • doing the initial “work” on why you were drinking and what was holding you back

  • addressing any romanticizing and grieving your drinking

  • learning what self-care is for you

  • building self-esteem

  • and more!

Incubation of Craving

There's a phenomenon observed in drugs (cocaine, meth, heroin), smoking, and alcohol use where cravings increase over time after a person has quit. This is called Incubation of Craving. Not everyone will experience this, but if you do, that’s why I like to support people for at least 4 months.

With alcohol, incubation of craving seems to peak around 2-3 months.

Venniro. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2021

Interestingly, self-reported craving in response to alcohol/drug cues differs from physiological response (increase heart rate, blood pressure, and skin conductance response). What I mean by this is that people don't think they are experiencing a craving or reacting to a cue, but their body tells a different story. This is why it's important for us to understand our triggers and work on developing awareness.

Incubation of craving leads to elevated craving levels in response to alcohol cues, followed by a slow decline of craving. Reduction of craving is seen as a main indicator of successful recovery.

In rats, incubation of craving for alcohol peaks around 1 month, but the desire for non-drug rewards like sugar and unhealthy food also peaks. We are not rats, but this information is helpful to get some insight into our experience. Do you crave sugar when you quit drinking? Find that you’re eating more than usual? Just like cravings for alcohol, this will pass. I am here to support you during it.

Factors that enhance incubation of craving:

  • sex (can be stronger in women than men, but this is not always the case in studies. The thought is some women may be more vulnerable to craving due to their cycle)

  • sleep

  • social support

  • peer pressure, how much the people around you drink

  • chronic stress

  • lack of coping strategies

  • overestimating the benefits of drinking

  • selective attention to alcohol cues

  • disrupted reward system- takes about 3-6 months for noticeable recalibration

Hear From Past Clients

“It helped me learn that I can handle a lot more than I realized without drinking my way through it. I got very clear on when and why I would use alcohol and how to experience those times and feelings without drinking.”

“110% support without judgement

I think it helped me to see that the hamster wheel analogy I speak about, is kind of true for most of us when drinking is involved, and you need to figure out a new "tool" to get you off it and just keep implementing it. Change is repetitiveness, nothing more.”

“I have a noticed a huge change in wanting to go into bars. I can walk by a bar without envy, a little sadness, and joy that my time there is over.

“I’m definitely more confident, specifically about this being permanent this time.”

Phase 2: Sober Mojo

Around 6-10 months people typically hit a lull period. My clients have told me that if things continue this way, they can’t see a good reason not to go back to drinking. Building your sober mojo requires:

  • understanding what “work” is coming up for you and how to make progress with it

  • even more coping skills

  • addressing any destructive thinking patterns

  • adjusting your lifestyle to support staying sober

  • prioritizing yourself

  • making progress towards your goals

  • grieving alcohol again and dealing with thoughts of moderation

  • and more!

Coaching Packages

All Coaching Packages Include the Following:

  • 2, 50 minute sessions a month

  • Unlimited messenger support outside of our sessions in a client portal

  • 3 month commitment, then month to month until you feel ready to graduate

Shame-Free Zone

Most of my clients come to me feeling intense shame about what they’re doing or still carrying shame from their past drinking, but they don’t feel comfortable telling anyone else about what is really going on. Sharing the shame in a safe space is freeing. I would like to provide that space for you.

Whatever you’ve done, whether it’s getting drunk alone and barfing or drinking for the 5000th time after saying you’re done, you never have to feel ashamed to tell me anything.

I’ve been there.

We are a team.

Recommended episodes:

E200: My Great Shame (listen here)

I’m 5 Years Sober: Here’s How I Reached Acceptance (listen here)

E150: 15 Strategies I Tried to Moderate My Drinking (listen here)

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you only work with women? I work with both men and women of all ages

What if I’m still trying to figure it out? I only work with people who have made the decision. I can’t make this decision for you or make you want it. This is what my podcast is for, to help you get closer to wanting sobriety for yourself.

Will you support me outside of our sessions? Yes, I have a client portal where we will be communicating outside of sessions

Coaching is out of my budget, what can I do? Please check out my community. I host 1-2 support meetings per week in there.

Are you certified? Yes, I am a certified professional recovery coach (CPRC). You can learn more about my qualifications here.

I’m an angry problem drinker. Can you help me with both? Yes, some of my clients work on both anger and sobriety at the same time. You can learn more about anger management here, but my packages are the same.