How it started…
On November 9, 2019 I accepted I am not someone who can ever drink because I felt like I had no other choice. There was no way I could continue to drink, my life was so miserable it was painful just to exist.
I wanted to understand why I’m this way. What caused me to not be able to control my drinking? I have always considered myself an incredibly strong person, how could this have happened to me?
I immediately began learning everything I could about addiction science. I have a BS in Chemistry and a MS in Biology, so reading the scientific literature is something I am used to doing for my job.
Learning became a daily thing. I woke up on June 25, 2020, almost 8 months into my sobriety journey, and felt compelled to share what I’ve learned. I woke up and thought,
People need to know this.
Without knowing anything about podcasting, website design, business, etc., I launched my podcast later on that day. I had 9 listeners on my launch day, including my mother and myself…. I may have listened twice…
I suffered so much during my drinking because of the intense shame that I felt. I would stay awake from 2-5 am many nights thinking about how horrible I am. Everything I learn about alcohol releases some of my shame. I am learning that this isn’t my fault. The reason I feel so compelled to put myself out there, despite the potential for people who know me to discover this, is that I want to help you relieve some of your shame.
I want all of us to believe that this is not our fault. I hope that what you learn here and on my podcast will help you understand that.
If you want to learn more about me, then start here!