Why You Lose Your Motivation to Quit Drinking
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There are a lot of reasons motivation fades, but there may be some things that you are doing that are impacting your motivation to get out of the cycle. Plus, it's the nature of alcohol to trick us into thinking it’ll be different this time and convince us that life would be full of deprivation and sadness without it.
How do I quit drinking without any help?
I get asked this question all the time.
Most of us feel a drive to do it alone. A 2021 review looked at barriers for not getting support and one of the main contributors is most people don’t think they need any treatment or support and think things like,
“the problem will get better by itself”
“I should be strong enough to handle this alone”
“my drinking isn’t serious enough”
We look at drinking as you’re either a hardcore alcoholic or you’re fine and we convince ourselves that because our drinking hasn’t destroyed our lives, that that means it doesn’t need to be addressed.
In last week’s episode I discussed why I think I developed a problem. I had no desire to quit drinking. Any time I did take a break, it was only to either prove I wasn’t an alcoholic or to cure myself so I could moderate. You don’t have to be excited about quitting drinking and you don’t have to feel a huge burst of motivation, you just have to do it and keep doing it.
Motivation to Change Your Drinking
A 2015 study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology followed a group of 392 patients receiving treatment for alcohol use for 9 months. They wanted to determine whether pretreatment motivation had an impact on treatment success.
Motivation to change after treatment had the biggest impact, and what impacts motivation to change is getting treatment. The treatments in this study were various types of therapy either individually or in groups.
Patients with greater motivation to change posttreatment were 3x as likely to stay sober 9 months later.
You could triple your chances of success by getting some support. Some of us can have spontaneous sobriety when the consequences are so severe that they shock us out of denial and turn our brains back on. You don’t know where your threshold is though. Some people have a very high threshold and if you’re one of those people, then ask yourself:
How much suffering is enough to get some support?
We have a saying in our community, “you can’t trust your thoughts in the first 30 days, trust us.” Alcohol is going to try to trick you and it takes time for the brain to heal. During that time, support helps get you through the tough times. This could be therapy, coaching, AA meetings and working with a sponsor, or joining an online community like mine. Challenge yourself to try some form of support and really commit to it.
Listen to episode 178 to learn more about why we don’t realize our drinking is a problem and how denial impacts the brain:
FAQs on Losing Your Motivation
What can I replace alcohol with?
Nothing healthy is going to do what alcohol did for you. When I was struggling to quit drinking people used to recommend I drink tea or sparkling water in a fancy glass. I felt misunderstood and it made me disconnect from the Facebook group. Tea isn’t going to cut it when you’re looking really to numb out and turn off your brain with alcohol. Instead, it’s possible to learn coping skills and self-care so you don’t have to feel on edge and overwhelmed all the time. Keep listening to my podcast to learn coping skills and get connected with a community that understands what you’re going through. You can learn coping skills from their experiences too.
How can I relax without drinking?
Alcohol changes the brain to increase anxiety and make is harder for us to relax without alcohol. In early sobriety, you may feel more anxious in the beginning but this will get better. Quick ideas to relax without alcohol are rage walks, rage cleaning, going to the gym and lifting the heaviest thing you can find, running, or venting to a trusted friend. Do something active to get the anxiety out of your body.
What is the easiest way to live an alcohol free lifestyle?
We slowly build our lives around alcohol so it is difficult to give it up. If you remove alcohol and continue to live the same lifestyle, then you are going to feel the void. Everything will remind you of alcohol and make you wish you could drink it. To live an alcohol free lifestyle, it’s important to change your lifestyle! Find some hobbies that don’t include sitting in different locations and drinking, prioritize self-care, find some sober friends, and be open to new ways to relax and have fun. All of these things will make it easier to not drink.
Cite this article:
Tietz, G., Painter, M. Why You Lose Your Motivation to Quit Drinking. Sober Powered. 2023
Sources:
Dandaba et al., 2020. Predicting relapse in patients with severe alcohol use disorder: The role of alcohol insight and implicit alcohol associations. Addictive Behaviors
Venegas et al., 2021. Understanding low treatment seeking rates for alcohol use disorder: A narrative review of the literature and opportunities for improvement. Am J Drug Alcohol Abuse.
Cook et al. 2015. Posttreatment Motivation and Alcohol Treatment Outcome 9 Months Later: Findings From Structural Equation Modeling. Journal of Consulting & Clinical Psychology
